My blog it’s getting pretty lame
I hate when I’m into someone, because it all gets all smooshy and pink, not the kind of red shade I like the most, the things are rare, ok? things are not okay. I’m not in the relationship I’ve longed and I’m supposed to be focused in a lot of other things rather than finding out whose are the whereabouts of the mind of my crush. He’s strange, he likes me and I like him, it’s true, and for the first time I feel like no one is really reading this, I used to have a couple of stalkers over here, because, you know, a girl has its ways in order to find out stuff, and it turns to be, that I’m an excelent finder of the truth. A lot of people has told me a whole lot of things that I must be feeling a bout this guy, because he’s been a real douchebag, he told me things that crushed my soul, and my desire of ever being normal in terms of relaltionship, I came back to make plans in order to screw people’s life and guess what! It didn’t worked. Also, turns out I’m in a sort of “no strings attached” relationship buuuut with feelings, like, what the real fuck! do you know what’s the name of that? RELATIONSHIP, but guess what!? WE’RE NOT EXCLUSIVE! Because he’s such a pussy, that he can’t stand being in something that requires loyalty of any way, but the saddest part is that sometimes i find myself hating him with all my self and that only means one thing: I care way too much about him, that I’m putting what I feel behind, just to feel him near me, I mean… How fucked is that? am I that sick? maybe I am, maybe I may never change, maybe I didn’t deserve a healthy relationship, maybe I’m doomed of always be a part of a tricky relationship just enough to being torn into pieces, well today was a day of reflexion, because
- I’m on vacations, IT IS SUMMER
- I deserve a healthy relationship, whether I feel like I deserve it or not, is a fact
- I’m allowed to be happy
- People change, but they doesn’t change its core, we can’t change our essence.
- I’m finding myself to be feeling a lot of strong things, and I have to deal with them
- I will, eventually, stop thinking, but in march I will start the thinking again
- I will enjoy it, it all comes to an end, eventually
Oh God.